A schizophrenia joke

I just saw this on Facebook.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic..and so am I




It's the incorrect meaning of schizophrenia of course but Dissociative Identity Disorder doesn't have the same ring to it.

Funniest joke in the world

It may be surprising to learn that there's such a thing. Someone did a bit of research and managed not to win an IG Noble Prize.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World's_funniest_joke

(There's more information in the Google search and on the official site.)

I'm sad to say the winning joke is not that funny. I think there may have been a lot of German participants (seriously - that's not just acceptable racism coming out).

"

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?

"

And here's the funniest joke in the UK according to the same research. It's the sort of joke you might not laugh at because it's not cool to laugh at that sort of thing.

"

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

"

Here's the sort of joke that people don't laugh at because it's cruel yet there's a part of them that does want to laugh which makes it all the funnier. It is a brutal joke that's not funny for the humour, i.e. the unexpected punchline and the uneasiness it causes which is expressed with laughter. It's funny because it's brutal and sick though otherwise is as funny as What's brown and stick? A stick.

What's better than winning gold in the paraplegic Olympics? Walking.

It divides people's opinions more than I do and doesn't make me popular with the disablist fraternity/sorority. It's one of those jokes that can only be researched in the pub because people's attitudes in lab settings are totally different. I feel it is one that would show high levels of gender differences in the appreciation of the humour and these differences would be strongly biological as well as based on gender personality-type.

The important thing to remember is that different people have a different sense of humour.

http://www.bangedup.net/news/index.php wasn't the site I was looking for but it's relatively clean and I know there may be some faint hearted people reading this. That one's fairly clean but that's according to my disgusting standards.

www.bangedup.com was the site I was looking for to extend this ramble on humour into even darker territory. This is one of the sickest (and not sick in the good slang sense) sites I've ever seen, and I've been using the internet for over 15 years. I first came across it when it had just come out and I worked in a call centre. It very quickly viralled. Within weeks of it's release it was down and a notice up saying the site had too many hits so it was moved to another server. One day a few years later I was flicking through the list of the top 100 UK sites and there it was.

I haven't checked the site tonight and I don't particularly want to. If you know me and my sense of humour and cuntishness then consider that more of a warning than the "you have to be over 18 to view this". I remember being there at the call centre when people were laughing watching a video of a guy on a bike being hit by a car.

Of course I admit that I'm a sicko and I'm honest about what I find funny though have learned to repress my inner feelings that aren't acceptable to some people (who are, in general, of the female biological type). Perhaps you might want to see what kind of sicko you are by checking out www.bangedup.com.

Laughter is the best medicine

I went looking for the source of the quote and Googled the text to find over 3 milllion web pages use that quote. Possibly the most extraordinary case of its health benefits is on the front page of (http://www.happinessandlaughter.com/).

"Norman Cousins (1915 to 1990), longtime editor of the Saturday Review, global peacemaker, receiver of hundreds of awards including the UN Peace Medal and nearly fifty honorary doctorate degrees, overcame a life threatening disease and a massive coronary, each time using his own nutritional and emotional support protocol.

Cousin's seminal book "Anatomy of an Illness" details his healing journey overcoming ankylosing spondylitis (a degenerative disease causing the breakdown of collagen). Given up to die within a few months in 1965, almost completely paralyzed, Cousins checked out of the hospital, moved into a hotel room and began taking extremely high doses of vitamin C while exposing himself to a continuous stream of humorous films and similar "laughing matter". His condition steadily improved and Cousins regained the use of his limbs until he was able to return to his full-time job at the Saturday Review."

The site also has a view video jokes on the left hand side bar to get started on a healthy and fun way to better physical and mental health.

As with everything there's a pathological version.
http://journals.lww.com/jonmd/Abstract/1982/02000/Pathological_Laughter__A_Review_of_the_Literature.1.aspx

For the majority of people though humour is a great tool.

I'm unable to find the author of the quote. Its such a simple bit of wisdom that perhaps it was said by lots of people isolated from each other in time and geography such that no single person could be attribute it. Or my internet searching skills are lacking this evening.