I know I'm scared to die. I know I'm scared of the terrifying pain associated with certain suicide methods (eg suffocation). I know I'm scared of becoming physically crippled as a consequence of failing in other suicide methods (eg jumping in front of a moving vehicle).
We
It comes in part from an appreciation that no one can truly sign their own work. Everything is many influences coming together to the one moment where a work exists.
The other is a begrudging acceptance that my work was never my own. There is another consciousness or non-corporeal entity that helps and harms me in everything I do. I am not I because of this force or entity. I am "we"
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