I feel old and tired and just want to die

- sent from a tablet

Definitions of mental health: a system to create worker bees suitable for the economic engine of employment in large, hierarchical employment system.

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Never allow me to be created

Don't drive anyone to suicide. Anything but that.

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My hope

My death

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If you truly care for me...

...then kill me.

It's sort of obvious really.

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On your side

What does it feel like to have no one on your side? That's gotta hurt.

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Once I told a psychiatrist not to waste my time

Hmm...there's a joke here somewhere...now I want to spend my time getting wasted?

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I hate the past and present

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I don't ever think of my future

Suicide answers the question for me and for a very long time there's really nothing else I've wanted. The end of days I don't want to live through, where sleep is my only respite from a conscious existence I've gotten sick of. Oh, so sick.

- sent from a tablet

Emptiness is a killer

This is an important truth easily missed by the facile minds involved in current suicide prevention.

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Death is best

Better than the rest.

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Do I tell who I dreamt about last night that I dreamt about them?

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My life unlived

My life not want to be lived.

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I just don't want to be awake

And it's been like this for a long time.

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Evil Everywhere

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Life is not worth enduring

Suicide is worth pursuing.

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There are some journeys which should never be taken

Mine for instance. No one. Never.

I would end a journey not to be taken. Wouldn't you?

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Rid of...

I just can't believe so much evil exists even though I've experienced it first hand. It's about a year since I woke up from a coma. Fuck. I wish I died. It's the best thing. Rid of this world. Rid of this wretched life. Rid of people.

- sent from a tablet

There is no good god

Were there I would have happily died a long time ago.

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I hate living

I wish I'd never been born.

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Just so sick of living.

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RE: parity of esteem call for evidence - suicidal ideation prevention

Dear Arj,

 

Thank you for your email, the information you provided was very informative and will contribute to the parity esteem debate.

 

Kind regards,

 

Anna

 

 

 

From: Arj Subanandan [mailto:arj.name@googlemail.com]
Sent: 05 August 2014 14:34
To: parity; arj name. blogsend
Subject: parity of esteem call for evidence - suicidal ideation prevention

 

Dear Anna Lewis

I would like to add my thoughts on the parity of esteem issue and suicidal ideation prevention.

I believe around six thousand people successfully end their life every year. This increased during the recession. There are tens of thousands of people who attempt suicide and I estimate the number of attempts might reach into the hundreds of thousands. What's perhaps worse is the lifetime prevalence of suicidal ideation is around 17% (from the Adult Psychiatric Morbidity Survey.

These statistics describe a tragedy which desperately needs to be addressed with a sense of urgency and priority. What's key but in absence are the activities which prevent suicidal ideation because this is an awful mind state, one I've lived with for many years.

My experience is a lack of solutions. Suicide prevention in the main utilises methods such as medication, talking therapies, making suicide methods hard to acquire and censorship of suicide method-related content. So far nothing has changed my desperate desire to die and if anything things have gotten worse.

My firm opinion is there is a missing direction in suicide prevention. There's a dearth of activities aimed at preventing people becoming suicidal in the first place. In my opinion the onus for this angle of suicide prevention is based upon the recognition of the terribleness and awfulness of a conscious, sentient mind that wants to cease its existence. It is an unrecognised crime that harsh culture and society wrought too much pain on those driven to contemplate death as their only exit from a too painful to bear reality.

I don't think enough people share this view but, perhaps, the parity of esteem debate can accept the objective even if the reasoning is different. In summary I'm talking about the equivalence between physical pain and mental pain with special respect to suicide.

Employers, for example, must follow health and safety laws to prevent physical harm, injury and the death of their employees. There's no mental health and emotional safety laws however. The evidence of the recession increase in the suicide rate and the non-recession employment-caused suicides (mainly through people becoming unemployed) are salient reasons to justify preventative measures like physical health and safety laws. These save lives and if applied with parity of mental health new measures could reduce the harm and death.

There are also laws defining physical crimes, eg grievous bodily harm, which aim to prevent physical harm. Perhaps one day there maybe laws legislating to reduce mental harm. In fact I believe there are laws against bullying?

I believe there is necessary social change to reduce the high level of people who experience suicidal ideation. Again, the parity of mental health is the reasoning to create the impetus for this sort of suicide ideation prevention.

Psyches need to be protected and lives saved. The parity issue could be the spark which mandates new measures be put in place.

I appreciate this may seem simplistic in justifying a radical new direction using the parity of esteem and the solutions I've provided may not be realistic in the short term. What I'm trying to convey is the possibility, the hope, that the mental health system can genuinely tackle suicide by reducing the proverbial plague of suicidal ideation. The 17% figure (1 in 6) is simply awful. It's just the tip of the iceberg of distress (higher than 1 in 4 every year).

Parity of esteem could cause the government and the mental health system to really attack these challenges and create real progress in abating the harshness of life which causes the harm to the psyche.

Thank you for reading my heartfelt thoughts. Please take some time to consider what I've said.

Kind regards

Arj Subanandan

- sent from a tablet

parity of esteem call for evidence - suicidal ideation prevention

Dear Anna Lewis

I would like to add my thoughts on the parity of esteem issue and suicidal ideation prevention.

I believe around six thousand people successfully end their life every year. This increased during the recession. There are tens of thousands of people who attempt suicide and I estimate the number of attempts might reach into the hundreds of thousands. What's perhaps worse is the lifetime prevalence of suicidal ideation is around 17% (from the Adult Psychiatric Morbidity Survey.

These statistics describe a tragedy which desperately needs to be addressed with a sense of urgency and priority. What's key but in absence are the activities which prevent suicidal ideation because this is an awful mind state, one I've lived with for many years.

My experience is a lack of solutions. Suicide prevention in the main utilises methods such as medication, talking therapies, making suicide methods hard to acquire and censorship of suicide method-related content. So far nothing has changed my desperate desire to die and if anything things have gotten worse.

My firm opinion is there is a missing direction in suicide prevention. There's a dearth of activities aimed at preventing people becoming suicidal in the first place. In my opinion the onus for this angle of suicide prevention is based upon the recognition of the terribleness and awfulness of a conscious, sentient mind that wants to cease its existence. It is an unrecognised crime that harsh culture and society wrought too much pain on those driven to contemplate death as their only exit from a too painful to bear reality.

I don't think enough people share this view but, perhaps, the parity of esteem debate can accept the objective even if the reasoning is different. In summary I'm talking about the equivalence between physical pain and mental pain with special respect to suicide.

Employers, for example, must follow health and safety laws to prevent physical harm, injury and the death of their employees. There's no mental health and emotional safety laws however. The evidence of the recession increase in the suicide rate and the non-recession employment-caused suicides (mainly through people becoming unemployed) are salient reasons to justify preventative measures like physical health and safety laws. These save lives and if applied with parity of mental health new measures could reduce the harm and death.

There are also laws defining physical crimes, eg grievous bodily harm, which aim to prevent physical harm. Perhaps one day there maybe laws legislating to reduce mental harm. In fact I believe there are laws against bullying?

I believe there is necessary social change to reduce the high level of people who experience suicidal ideation. Again, the parity of mental health is the reasoning to create the impetus for this sort of suicide ideation prevention.

Psyches need to be protected and lives saved. The parity issue could be the spark which mandates new measures be put in place.

I appreciate this may seem simplistic in justifying a radical new direction using the parity of esteem and the solutions I've provided may not be realistic in the short term. What I'm trying to convey is the possibility, the hope, that the mental health system can genuinely tackle suicide by reducing the proverbial plague of suicidal ideation. The 17% figure (1 in 6) is simply awful. It's just the tip of the iceberg of distress (higher than 1 in 4 every year).

Parity of esteem could cause the government and the mental health system to really attack these challenges and create real progress in abating the harshness of life which causes the harm to the psyche.

Thank you for reading my heartfelt thoughts. Please take some time to consider what I've said.

Kind regards

Arj Subanandan

- sent from a tablet

Just so sick of living

- sent from a tablet

I'm just sick of everything

This feeling is profound. Ugh.

- sent from a tablet

Schizophrenia and genetics: birds of a feather or opposites attract?

There are strong genetic ties to schizophrenia, higher than some cancers, but what are the effects involved? Specifically is there mutual attraction involved in the selection of parents of schizophrenic offspring?

Taking Meehl's schizotaxia idea - a genetic pre state which all schizophrenic phenotypes (pathological and non pathological) come from as the start the question is whether the presence of the genotype causes attraction in others of the same genotype or lack of attraction by alternative/non-schizotaxia genotypes - and this is an effect on genetic correlates in offspring?

I'm really uneducated when it comes to genetics and totally clueless when it comes to to relationships. If the adage 'opposites attract is true' then this might point to an immutable or semi immutable gene/s whereas I believe it is other factors which strongly affect the creation of the schizophrenia phenotype. The non pathological 'schizotypy' end of the schizo-spectrum is little studied but is also possibly a phenotype of schizotaxia.

Creative people, altruistic people and promiscuous people sharing the schizotaxia genotype might select similar partners (or be less attractive to non schizotaxia genotypes) and this effect dominates the genetic link data. Perhaps?

- sent from a tablet

Unfulfilled suicidal feelings are agony

One of the biggest undocumented crimes are those which create suicidal feelings, when death is the only hope.

Be it untenable physical or mental pain it is of an order of magnitude too great for the suicidal individual to survive.

Survival or living is a worse option than death. That's the crux of suicidal ideation but these few words fail to convey the profound personal suffering.

It is a cruel word which allows this torture unabated but it is a cruel world which causes the crime - of driving a conscious, sentient being to want to cease their conscious experience - in the first place.

Cruelty upon cruelty: the lack of legal assisted suicide. The never ending torture. The long death.

- sent from a tablet

I just want to die

It feels like the perfect end to a shit life.

Harm upon harm then more. Mentally beaten to the end.

A torture ended. A life not lived nor wanted to be lived finally ceased.

Eternal slumber is hope.

- sent from a tablet