Saturday, 2 August 2014

Unfulfilled suicidal feelings are agony

One of the biggest undocumented crimes are those which create suicidal feelings, when death is the only hope.

Be it untenable physical or mental pain it is of an order of magnitude too great for the suicidal individual to survive.

Survival or living is a worse option than death. That's the crux of suicidal ideation but these few words fail to convey the profound personal suffering.

It is a cruel word which allows this torture unabated but it is a cruel world which causes the crime - of driving a conscious, sentient being to want to cease their conscious experience - in the first place.

Cruelty upon cruelty: the lack of legal assisted suicide. The never ending torture. The long death.

- sent from a tablet

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We It comes in part from an appreciation that no one can truly sign their own work. Everything is many influences coming together to the one moment where a work exists. The other is a begrudging acceptance that my work was never my own. There is another consciousness or non-corporeal entity that helps and harms me in everything I do. I am not I because of this force or entity. I am "we"