Do I cut myself, drink or get high?

I haven't had a drink for 4 days now. I've been picking bits of twigs and putting them in my rollups because I've got very little herb left. I haven't cut myself in a long time but it has started again over the past
few weeks. It's ok though. I'm just cutting on top of scars.

I don't usually cut for relief. I cut to fight the controlling force in my life but I had to hit my head against a wall a couple of times just now to get some relief. No bruises though so don't worry.

Untreated depression seen through my self-harm scars

There's a really big scar from one of my self-harm attempts while I was going through hellish psychosis. It's a really big one that's described in an earlier blog post.

The scar is huge because it was untreated. I didn't know how to stitch it myself. I could have worked it out and done it but I'm not Rambo. I didn't think to take a needle and thread and DIY it.

There's an old study that shows that 85% of people recover from depression in a year without treatment. The study didn't really say enough about the actual outcomes.

Has my lack of treatment created a huge scar that will heal but leaves a big and permanent gash on my psyche and life? Yeah. Probably. C'est la vie.

The hardest photos I've had to edit in a while

Canon 50D & Canon 50mm f1.8