I've never so fallen out with the emotion of love till this beautiful
person became the thing I love so dearly.
She may not be the most beautiful girl in the world but to me she is.
She may not be the funniest girl in the world but I think she is. She
may not be...well she's pretty smart. She's not perfect but she is to me.
Her eyes are gems. Her cheeks pearls. Her lips the finest petals. Her
voice the most beautiful melody.
She was great company. It's why she's the only person I'd want to share
my journey of life with. I would love to sit in silence with her.
Her smile made me smile. When her eyes lit up my heart lit up. When she
thought I was being an arrogant, cocky idiot it would only make me love
her even more.
If she was unhappy I would do anything to help..in my blundering stupid
way. If she were ever scared I would scare the thing that scares her. If
she were hungry I would give her my plate. If she were ever in need I
would give my all and my anything. If I have to be alone so she can be
happy then it is a small price.
I can't even look at her at the moment. It hurts so much inside. I saw
her last night and it took the wind out of my sails. It beat my bravado
from me and opened the chasm inside that will never heal. Not in the
months and year since I last saw her. This miserable paradox is another
of the unending miseries.
But I can't unwish my feelings for her. That's what feelings are all
about. Not rational nor logical nor swayed by reason. They are the curse
I have to live with. Otherwise I wouldn't be human.
But what I would do to undo this mistake of falling so deeply in love
with my best friend...
Some might say I should think positive. I should be glad I can feel this
intensity of emotion. I should believe that she misses me too...perhaps
in a small way... I just don't know, nor care.
My love. I miss you so much tonight. I just don't know what to do anymore.
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