The NHS discriminates against people who self medicate

It's been over a year since I went to the NHS to get help. I knew I was in a bad state and unable to control myself. I'd managed to successfully self-manage a severe mental illness which used to be treated with high levels of medication.

I've finally started the horrible process of opening up a year's worth of post. One of the letters I picked off my blood stained floor in this shithole of a room I live in was from the bint who'd given me an initial assessment.

It told me I couldn't get the help I needed till I reduced my consumption by engaging at a drugs and alcohol service.

She denied me the treatment I needed and discriminated against me because of her prejudices and beliefs. She doesn't understand what it's like and though i'd made clear when I first saw my GP about 15 months ago that I wanted to see a psychological therapist she decided to refuse me NHS treatment unless I complied with her demands.

I, like so many men, self-medicate. It is a hard path but the drugs are better than the narcotics handed out by psychiatrists, at least for my life and my valuation of what is wellbeing.

I've suffered so much over the last year because I got no help. I knew I needed help way back when I went to see my GP.

I read a lot of stuff which other patients don't. Clearly I read a lot more of the relevant stuff than the bint who's denied me help.

I've gotten so much worse. I think people might be able to see it behind the facade.

I recently started taking St John's Wort. It hasn't been enough so I was going to contact my GP to get prescription antidepressants.

But what the fucks the point? Am I going to have to have to go through another experience of discrimination and still not get the help I need?

In desperation I went for help and didn't get it. I know my mental health. The bint didn't listen to me. She didn't know me. She didn't know my life. She just saw one thing. It wasn't my gender though there is relevance in the bias in the epistomology of mental health against the male ideology. It wasn't my race, or I hope it wasn't. It was because she was prejudiced against how I live my life and seek my well being. She discriminating against me and the result has had little impact on her life. It's been a living hell for me.

Access to high quality services for all? Not when bints like that are allowed to deny drink and drug users help.