This will happen eventually. I may sound immoral for suggesting this but
it is based on the highest morality. It is based on the highest compassion.
It is unwritten that doctors kill patients whose suffering is endless.
It still happens.
It is not without unease that I write this final part of this document.
Opening the gates of assisted suicide could cause more harm than good
but I feel I've developed a basic framework for myself.
It is based on the avoidance of regrettable suicide. By this I mean to
show that I understand that some people attempt suicide and regret it.
My first (weak) suicide attempt was almost 15 years ago and I would have
regretted it.
I left a job I loved because I was suicidal and for a brief moment I
didn't want to die. I regret this. I should have kept working and waited
till I killed myself. Then the last two years wouldn't have happened.
I was pulled off the road early one Christmas morning and I regret that
this suicide attempt and the one before it weren't successful. In the
intervening period I have tried to contribute to saving other people and
bettering the mental healthcare system however I could.
But I have suffered during this time. I have suffered with more
intensity than should be wrought upon any human being. If the NHS or
anyone had any compassion they would end my life. Sadly this compassion
is lacking and I continue to suffer.
I would not want this to happen to anyone else. I only bear it in the
hope that whatevr is left of my life can contribute to the betterment of
the greater good.
But the greater good is not served by extending a human's suffering. No
one should have to feel how I feel and endure another day of life.
Prevention is, of course, better than cure but without a cure and in the
absence of a way to end this intense suffering by other means I want and
I deserve the gift of death.
I doubt the reader could understand. I do not ask this. I ask my wishes
to be respected and what I want is to be killed by the NHS. I would like
to die with the peace I could not find in life. I have earned little for
the work I have done since my Christmas suicide attempt but I have
earned this.
And I would want other people to have this right. Those who can not have
peace in their lifetime deserve the compassion of others to end their
suffering. Otherwise it is just a life of torture.
Would you want to inflict that on another?
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