Not wanting to be conscious

It's a summary of how I've been feeling. Another way would be that I
want to sleep a lot. In fact I don't want to wake.

I'm so tired of living. Yesterday was the best day I'd had in a long time.

I woke up this morning not wanting to wake up. Yes. It's partially
caused by a hangover and partially caused by an eating problem. It's
partially caused by being tired of living. It's caused by life.

I stayed under the covers but it wasn't a nice lie in. I just wanted to
be unconscious. I thought about what it would be like to take a drill to
my temples and carve out my frontal lobes. Perhaps I wouldn't remember
who I was or I wouldn't have consciousness anymore. That would be nice.

An eternal silence. A neverending rest. Nothingness forever. The silence
and stillness everlasting.