What is mental illness - an aside on sexuality

A few years ago I was manic and tried to do nano Wrimo in a week. That's 50,000 words in a week. I failed. Obviously. I got to 20,000-25,000.

I never read it. It was called 8 Ways and it was named after a girl. I cut and pasted about 10,000 words from other stuff I've written. After 5 days I gave up. 35k words in total.

Anyway, this period was a flight of idea. The ultimate brainstorm. I was writing a few thousand words a day and my brain was on fire.

I'm an openminded person. I think in abstract thoughts and explore objective things with a subjective lens. I'm also crazy and I think crazy things. Some of them, though perhaps shameful, are interesting.

One is autosexuality. This is not a normal word. It means someone who masturbates. It is a specifically descriptive thing of action in sexuality. It does not ask what a person is thinking about or seeing. Just that they pleasure themselves more often than they're enjoy pleasure with someone else.

I'm talking about wanking more than shagging. Bear with me please. I find coarse language so much more eloquent when I'm drunk. Perhaps sober too but I repress it.

Wanking is what a lot of people do. Excess masturbation used to be a mental illness in itself but as times changed they, like gays and lesbians, became depathologised.

Wankers didn't become destigmatised though. Though some of those in the homosexuality movement may also have been wankers their primary battleground was on gender preference that than sexual practice.

There is so little discussion of wankers except, perhaps, in the derogatory sense. Like other old mental illnesses there is a plethora of dialogue which challenges the stigma and prejudice.

They're never there for the wankers though. There is no movement which stands for the identity of wankers. Feminists got their identity through firebrands like Jermaine Greer. I have no idea if she's a wanker or not. She's a staunch femnist writer and she might enjoy a good wank. She's been called a wanker I'm sure but that was in the prejudicial sense.

The gay rights movement have stopped this sort of practice, though it still goes on. Mental health campaigns have stopped this sort of practice, though it still goes on.

No one stands up for the wanker and says "we have a right too!"

So I have sex with myself?

So what if I'm am...or used to be...called mentally ill.

I have a right to be who I am. I have an right to identity and a right for that identity to be expressed without calling me a wanker...unless they mean it ina good way.

I can't even be proud to be a wanker. It is embarassing and shameful. I dare never reveal that I'm I wanker to other people...but I think they know I'm a bit of a wanker...

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