an atheist. Then I found god. And god's a fucking cunt.
My atheism was built upon many ideas. One was that there was no proof.
Either way. The other was...well...look at the world. This is not the
result of a good god nor a good human race.
Antitheism came about when one of those things changed. I had proof.
Through what a psychiatrist might suggest was psychosis I experienced
the presence of another being or beings, a controlling force which had
more power than I could understand. It was something without material
presence but could affect and effect my reality and life. This
non-corporeal entity is what other people describe as god. It's in my
head too. My I within my stream of consciousness is joined by another.
This was a change in state of awareness of consciousness. The other has
always been there. It took this process for me to realise it.
The process was very painful. I have physical scars and I almost killed
myself. It is trauma unimaginable. It is one of the reasons I'm an
antitheist. The other is the same part of the belief of antitheism. Just
look at this world. It's fucked up. It is not the result of a good god
with a good plan.
Ultimately god is neither good nor bad. However the view of the world is
bent. I hear people tell me god saved them when they were at their worst
place. They are thankful when god saves the Chilean miners, as one
example. They don't see that god puts people in those situations too.
God does the harm as well as the saving.
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