Tuesday, 12 April 2011

On natural reactions

I cried a bit this morning. It's not fair. it's just not fair.

I work damn hard. I don't have much of a life. I make many sacrifices.
These are things other people do too. I just don't get paid for it. They do.

I work for better stuff in Japan after the quake but I have no resources
and at the moment little energy. I'm mentally ill to a point where it's
getting in the way of my life but when I went for help the NHS wouldn't
help me, even though I volunteered and was a tiny part of the movement
which got massive amounts of funding for psychological therapies in the UK.

I give to charity and refuse it for me. I give to the homeless knowing
that often I'm being ripped off. I do it to myself but that is just
self-stigma.

I'm so fucking tired. It's just not fair. Having a little cry at this is
pretty damn sane. Anyone else in my state, after what I've been
through...they'd have killed themselves already.

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About Me

We It comes in part from an appreciation that no one can truly sign their own work. Everything is many influences coming together to the one moment where a work exists. The other is a begrudging acceptance that my work was never my own. There is another consciousness or non-corporeal entity that helps and harms me in everything I do. I am not I because of this force or entity. I am "we"