Monday, 25 July 2011

A conversation last night reminded me of something

People really don't understand what it's like to be suicidal.

There's always that unspoken thought, "why don't you just stop being
suicidal?" to which I would like to retort, "why don't you stop being so
lacking in any real life experience or understanding of the human
condition?"

Each person's life and consciousness is unqiue. My 'gift' and curse is
to want to die more than anything else in this life. The reasons don't
matter. It's certainly not over a fucking girl. sheesh. I got over that
sort of shit a long time ago. That just hurts but I have learned to live
with that sort of pain, a pain which if others felt I know it would
break them..but I think most people don't feel the way I can feel about
another person. Docile, loveless automoton twats.

The reasons are irrelevant. What is a constant is my desire to die,
sooner rather than later. This is not an illness. This is not a crime.
This is my fucking life...

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About Me

We It comes in part from an appreciation that no one can truly sign their own work. Everything is many influences coming together to the one moment where a work exists. The other is a begrudging acceptance that my work was never my own. There is another consciousness or non-corporeal entity that helps and harms me in everything I do. I am not I because of this force or entity. I am "we"