I'm thinking about medication and stuff. I was irregularly taking antidepressants for a couple of weeks till last weekend. Since then I've come off and been smoking skunk all day.
It's fucking great. I'm isolated. I'm unhappy without low mood. I stink. Not showered in days. 5. I'm in the park partially because I can't really be around people when I smell like this. But when I see people I manage to shower.
I've been off skunk for a while. Too long. On Monday I scored some and the last few days...well I've relaxed and I've eaten. Loads.
I've not spoken to anyone. 2 emails, the last of which made me realise I'm feeling better.
I wrote to a friend of mine about the joys of being in a park, drinking wine, smoking skunk and unemployed. He would envy what I have. Funny. All I want to do is get back to work.
Life. Its a funny old thing. For the first time in a very long time I remembered my life isn't so bad. It hasn't felt like it and I may not remember it long but...well...for this moment in time I have something we can all agree is a bit like happiness.
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