psychosis as a manifestation of trauma.
"
I think trauma forces a person to withdraw into their inner reality
more. This was my experience during the emotional abuse. My dad would
lecture me for an hour or two about what a worthless shit I was. (no
exaggeration. This could happen 2 or more times a week and with the rest
of the family watching.) To survive I withdrew inside my mind.
This may be why there's a relationship between cannabis and
schizophrenia. It too helps a person to withdraw into their mind. It is
a usually a wonderfully pleasant state for me. Smoked alone it can be a
useful tool for thought and reflection and all sorts of other stuff. But
it too leads a person to this more internalised state.
I think this is sort of in line with what Jung said in his paper from
which he wrote psychological types. If I remember right he described a
scale. At one end were hysterics and at the other schizophrenics.
Hysterics focused on the outside reality. Schizophrenics focused on the
internal reality.
In Indian this internal focus would not be a problem. Those people
called schizophrenics might end up as Sadus. In the UK they might have
ended up as monks who spend lots of time in contemplation. In 2011
Britain this type ends up being traumatised and misunderstood. The
environment may also contribute. Schizophrenics attempt to function and
survive the suffering. They have to act normal to get along in modern
culture which forget that this state existed. This is what I reckon the
negative symptoms are all about. (These were defined before teh advent
of medication and they were what I experienced when I went through acute
psychosis.)
This internalised state may have value. It may be hard to understand in
modern society but that's a problem with modern society, not the
schizophrenic type. Trauma may cause a person to become more focused on
their internal reality but there are other routes. I don't know why
stress can be a trigger to psychosis.
The inward state manifests based on different psychosocial environmental
factors, e.g. 200 years ago there would be no paranoid schizophrenics
thinking their mind was being monitored using technology. I have the
image of the schizophrenic with aluminium foil on their head to block
the transmissions/monitoring. This experience has nothing related to
trauma expressing itself.
My experience was not related to my childhood traumas except in the
aspect of fighting for control. The fight for control - the fight that
my arm of scars is a timely reminder of and nearly cost me my life - as
well as the ultimate knowledge of the existence of a non-corporaeal
entity were primary facets of my last proper bout of psychosis. During
my childhood there was a few months where there was a battle for
control. This ended me up in a children's home and foster home briefly.
(it's noteworthy that even during this traumatic experience I still went
to school, revised and took my exams. My friends didn't believe me that
I was in a children's home because they couldn't tell any difference in
my behaviour.)
The main trauma though - the emotional abuse which partially results in
my low self-esteem (the other part being it is now a control mechanism
against hypermania) - was not part of the distress of psychosis. When my
non-corporeal entity tells me I'm worthless I agree then I just get on
with whatever I have to do. If the inner thoughts tell me I'm a genius
or whatever then I reject them and get on with whatever I have to do.
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