This is my foolishness though. I'm not one of those fools who never takes a risk because they're afraid of looking like a fool. I'm not one of those fools that doesn't learn from their mistakes. I'm one of those fools who believes that there are some things in life that are about knowing the consequences and understanding the negative - and in this case futile - impact of an action but doing it anyway because of the foolish belief that to do that is more a human being being what they truly are.
Our essence is more than the logical mind and the capability to weigh up our choices. The capability to act with 'soul' or driven by things other than tangible rewards is what defines an individual from a computer. The soul truly expresses itself in the mistakes that are learnt from but subsequently consciously redone.
And this is life, not some computer game. Results are always unpredictable. Right now though that logic doesn't appease my feelings of regret, but I accept that that too is so very human.
I contemplate the definition of foolishness. To know the consequences of a mistake and to make it again. To make the risk/reward rationalisation and then to act with disregard to it. To weigh one thing above all else in a logical decision-making process, and one which only has value to an idealist: the present feeling of the ignobility of silence. I'm far, far from a noble creature as any reader may have already gathered so why at that time I felt like that was the valuable thing that made me express how I felt rather than internalising it or doing as I'd been ordered to do by her friend is something I have no good answer to.
This is my foolishness though. I'm not one of those fools who never takes a risk because they're afraid of looking like a fool. I'm not one of those fools that doesn't learn from their mistakes. I'm one of those fools who believes that there are some things in life that are about knowing the consequences and understanding the negative - and in this case futile - impact of an action but doing it anyway because of the foolish belief that to do that is more a human being being what they truly are.
Our essence is more than the logical mind and the capability to weigh up our choices. The capability to act with 'soul' or driven by things other than tangible rewards is what defines an individual from a computer. The soul truly expresses itself in the mistakes that are learnt from but subsequently consciously redone.
And this is life, not some computer game. Results are always unpredictable. Right now though those words don't appease my feelings of regret about the thing that I'm not talking about, but I accept that that too is so very human.
"That line could be about so many things in life but at the moment I'm taking about the risk I took telling someone that I loved them when there was no hope of a positive outcome. I'm feeling a mixed set of negative emotions. There's a small element of "why do I do it to myself" and my personal answer to that is: because its "me." There's the low feeling where I just want to crawl into bed and there feels like there's no rational or conscious thought to it. Its just a feeling that I don't given into too much. Its the bank holiday weekend and had I not said anything then we'd probably be hanging out right now. I regret what I did right now on an emotional level because I miss this person in my life. But even with foreknowledge I would do the same and lose my
rainbow again."
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