I don't have internet access here in the park so I can't google to find
out if anyone's already done this research.
It would be complex. I'd like to see the attitudes research and then the
behaviour research. What people think is good for them and what is
really good for them (based on ideal measures) isn't the same thing.
What other people think is good isn't always what is good either, and
this is the problem of measures.
I also wonder if the responses to the question in some imaginary study
were similar to "my perfect partner" or other things like that.
I've been blessed with some really good bosses. My first proper job was
in a company called the National Remote Sensing Centre (now part of
interra group or something like that). My boss was actually nicknamed
Crazy Bob. He was close or past retirement but it didn't matter. It
warms my heart right now just to think of that man. I was 18 at the
time. he'd interviewed me and I'd got the job - £7,000 a year.
He was brilliant at his job. He'd never taken on a management role but
he managed without title. I had a boss that I reported to but I was
inspired by Bob. He knew so much stuff and he was interesting (I was a
real computer geek in those days). He told me about when he was starting
out and he could see computers working. Literally. I'm writing this on a
tiny little laptop with micro-electronic circuitary. He was telling me
about the days when you could walk inside a computer. Memory wasn't
sticks of silicon. It was valves which lit up.
That was pretty cool but I worked with a pretty cool team. What was
amazing about Bob was he had the lightness of life that comes with
wisdom. It was amazing to see this elderly man jump onto an office chair
and skim across the office screaming "weee" and I hope it's an attitude
I can have if I ever get to his age. That's also why they called him
crazy Bob.
My actual boss was a pretty cool guy too. I'm been moved from another
team because they'd thrown work at me that was really difficult and I'd
done a good job. (The traits I have in common with idiot savants are
very useful in the computing industry.) He was fatherly. He was chilled
and relaxed and brilliant like Bob but in a less mad way. I remember him
less.
I worked a role in a local council and my boss there was an amazing
lass. She'd been quite senior at a major communications union. Her
skills were all about communication and it was a skill I didn't have. We
were a good partnership because my lack of skills of employment people
skills complemented her lack of knowledge about data, and the role was
primarily a data-based role. She gave me training in communication
skills and kept me out of trouble. I excelled at my job for the pay I
was on and the complete lack of resources to do my job. Other councils
had 7 people doing the same work we did. We were friends outside work
too and pretty close.
And yet the person I consider my best boss was nothing like them. She is
both the most tolerant person I've ever had the pleasure to work for but
also the one who's intelligence I least respected. On the latter I was
totally wrong and trapped in a poor measure of intelligence. More than
anyone she had the strength to put up with me in my worst times. I can
not thank her enough for that. She was more intelligent than me and
better trained for the team we worked in. She'd also survived the
experience of working with the rest of the team who were phenomenally
intelligent on normal measures (who is more intelligent, the person who
is smart as a genius or the person who can lead a team of geniuses?).
We never got on outside of work. She's one of the few people I didn't
hang out with and honestly I don't know why. It's surprising because I
fancied her, but I fancy lots of people. She wasn't an inspiration like
those other other bosses I've had but it depends on how you look at
inspiration. She treated me well and she put up with a lot of shit. She
understood what I was going through, I think, but without the lived
experience - in my eyes there is no greater person in mental health (the
person who isn't mad but truly understands the madness and treats people
like me like ordinary human beings).
In my really stupid times when I was over-reacting I would post things
like "I'm going to tear my boss a new arsehole" on my facebook profile.
She put up with that shit and more.
She was unwittingly the best therapist I've ever met, on any measure.
She wasn't trying to be. She was doing her job. She was unwittingly, and
something she'd never admit to herself, the best boss I've ever had and
one of the best people I've ever met.. If I had a hat I'd tip it to her
right now as a subtle expression of the extreme intensity of the respect
I have for her.
It was the unconscious quality of her effect upon my life and me that
makes me value her more than any of the other amazing people I've had
the rare privileged to have as bosses. She taught me more about how to
be a good boss than I could ever teach you. We never got on and I was a
cunt to her. This is why I hate myself. I could espouse the value of
this person at length. I could describe how good and bad events all
turned out 'good'.
In my heart I know she was one of the most signifcant people in my life
and helped me change for the better. We struggled and we fought, we
goughed each other's hearts out I think. We're not friends or even in
contact and that's a damn, damn shame. She made me better and I can't
thank her let alone thank her enough.
I'm really glad to have found a similar person in my life in the last
couple of years. She's a wonderful role model and she's an inspiration
just like Bob was. I'm on the edge of tears thinking about my old bosses
and reminiscing about those good times so I'm going to leave it there
tonight.
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