Friday 31 December 2010

An unusual thing just happened. What may or may not have been a couple had a blazing row on the tube. Its actually rare. But one member of this couple, the hot female one, waqs deaf I think.

I admit a lot of insecurity around home to treat deaf people correctly but I had a moment of pure drunken sanity. I treated them as I would any other bickering couple on the train. I tried to steam in. I don't like seeing the arguments which aredso natural to any true human relationship, and this relationship was more true than many, many others.

I just for one stupid moment in my life treating an equal as an equal by interupting the deaf ladys rant against her husband.

To the people on the carriage I must have looked like a drunk, insensitive twat. I wonder how many thought I was a dick for doing what I just did to a deaf person. I went too far and spoke too fast too.

I wonder if the person opposite me is thinking I'm insensitive, and perhaps I am. No one likes a stranger stepping into an argument. I do it anyway. Deaf, blind, ugly or even sober. I try to treat people equally.

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We It comes in part from an appreciation that no one can truly sign their own work. Everything is many influences coming together to the one moment where a work exists. The other is a begrudging acceptance that my work was never my own. There is another consciousness or non-corporeal entity that helps and harms me in everything I do. I am not I because of this force or entity. I am "we"