an individual can exclude themselves from their social group for many
reasons.
Yesterday I had a really bad day but I had to go to a friends birthday
party. I usually enjoy a good party and I was going to see a lot of old
friends there so I'd been looking forward to it, but my mood had rapidly
deteriorated that during the day and I fell into an intensely withdrawn
state where I didn't want to interact. It is hard because my usual mask
is one of joviality and exuberance. It must have be strange to see me
without my mask. I just couldn't put it up that evening.
As always I feel the experience has value as a learning lesson. I was in
a crowded room but I felt isolated. I was amongst friends but I was
alone. I couldn't function with the spontaneity to engage in a
conversation because of tiredness and feeling of emptiness. I wasn't
present in the conversations I had to meet the minimum etiquette of a party.
I isolated myself. It wasn't caused by the stigma of mental illness. It
was caused by intense mental distress during the day and exhaustion, and
perhaps post-binge alcohol depression.
If that state of mind went on for a prolonged period of time it would be
a horrible thing for anyone to go through. I think that's what would be
called clinical depression. One day like that certainly isn't though the
intensity and the extreme of the mood change is possibly noteworthy.
No comments:
Post a Comment