Sex and mental health research and chat up lines

I've been looking for this paper for ages. It's one of the funny ones
I'd run around the office going "have you seen this! It's totally crazy
but totally brilliant!"

http://jnnp.bmj.com/content/55/4/247.full.pdf
Endorphins: the basis of pleasure?
C H Hawkes
J Neurol Neurosurg Psychiatry 1992 55: 247-250

"
Love and sex
There are no studies of endorphin release in humans during coitus but
there is evidence from animal studies that sexual stimulation in rats
and hamsters may lead to an
increase in the activity of endogenous opioid systems. In male rats
copulation progressively induces analgesia.'0" Vaginal cervical
stimulation of female rats has an analgesic effect.'2 '3 Plasma
fl-endorphin levels taken from male hamsters 30 seconds after their
fifth ejaculation were 86 times higher than those of control animals.'4
In one study" male rats were decapitated after 30 or 120 minutes of
copulation but no difference in cerebral opioid content could be found
between copulators and control animals at 30 minutes. The midbrain
opioid content was significantly reduced in copulators after 120
minutes, which could indicate either inhibition of synthesis or a
depletion due to increased turnover or metabolism. Although this report
at first sight is contradictory' it must be emphasised that Szechtman's
rats had been exposed to repeated painful stimuli and there may be
differences between rat and hamster responses. Furthermore, the central
activity of JJ-endorphin cannot necessarily be inferred from the plasma
concentrations. At a more anecdotal level, it is well recognised among
migraine sufferers that intercourse can abolish headache.
"

That's right. Researchers wanked off rats. lol. Male rats also have sex
for 30-120 minutes. lol. It's also pretty horrible what they do to rats.

I often mention research to people in the pub. This is one of my
favourites because it's totally pub friendly. It leads onto the joke
about the rat wanking researchers. What was their job description like?
Did they need previous experience of masturbating rodents? That sort of
thing. An unexpected result though is it's a pretty good chat up line. I
didn't realise at first but someone pointed it out to me. He'd read The
Game. Getting sex into conversation is a pretty good way to get sex.
It's horribly simplistic thinking but I think this is why it works. It's
funny too and it's something that can be dropped into conversation to
make a person sound intelligent. Perhaps that's why it works. I think
it's the simplicity though. People forget that a lot of people want sex.
There are prudish Victorian values that the sexual liberation movement
still hasn't washed away but the truth is people want sex. It's why
there are novel dating sites such as Forget Dinner
(www.forgetdinner.co.uk). People get trapped in playing games and seem
to forget that a lot of people are pretty sexually liberated and lusty
(or slutty and horny) when they're drunk. Alcohol has the wonderful
quality to break down memory of social norms while drunk so our hearts
and our horns can play honestly. Mentioning sex opens up the potential
possibility.