Wednesday, 20 October 2010

Do you expect a nurse to assault you?

Perhaps there are some fetish clubs where this is offered but most
people never expect to be assaulted by healthcare staff. But, of course,
there's the psychiatric nurse. They're the bane of the profession.
They're the ones that assault patients and force medication on them.

I remember well an acute tranquillisation. It was nothing to do with any
need to make me unconscious. It was because I pissed off the senior
nurse. I wanted to leave the ward. Things had escalated, I wasn't being
listened to and I just wanted out. They put me in seclusion so I'd calm
down but couldn't hear me hollering for a cup of tea (a human rights
violation to put someone in a room without proper ways to communicate
clearly with the outside world). Rather than speak to me or sort out the
simple request of a cup of tea a few nurses came in and tried to make me
take a fist full of colourful pills. If anyone knows what' it's like
feeling distressed then a bunch of jailers - because that's what they
really are - come in then they'll know where I'm coming from. It's
really fucking intimidating. They came in with the purpose to drug me
rather than help me. They wanted to make me unconscious. Evil fucks.
They've gotten used to that power so they use it whenever and whatever.
I didn't want to take them so I slapped them out of the senior nurses
hand and they landed in the pool of piss in the corner of the room. Not
my piss either. There were no toilet facilities in there - again, a
human rights violation but unnoticed because psych wards have the
privilege of medicine (the caring profession till psychiatry came
along).whereas people know prisons are places where human rights are
likely to be violated. I can assume,me this nurse justified what
happened next because she would have said I assaulted her. I think every
other member of staff would have know that it wasn't really an assault
nor was what I had done so bad given my stated desire to not take
medication.

I pissed her off but she had power so she used it. She ordered the team
to acute tranquillise me. There was no need to make me unconscious as
the Head of the Trusts mental health services and the Head of the
Trust's acute wards both agreed with me, but she chose to anyway because
she was an angry nurse. They got the big fuck off needle out and rammed
it in my arse. They didn't have to hod me down. That's the thing. That's
the sick thing. I wasn't struggle nor out of my mind. I'd just made her
angry and she want to get me back.

I a nurse shows a dose of haliperidol so strong that it made me
unconscious for no other real reason than she was angry at me for
slapping the 'medicine' out of her hands and it landed in the pool of
piss so she couldn't even pick them up and make me take them.....isn't
that a crime? Acute tranquillisation would be a crime if used in a
prison as far as I am aware. HEre it was used just like prison staff
might want to use this sort of protocol. It had a very bad effect
though. It triggered me to write an 8,000 word complain-cum-report of my
experiences in 5 days, one which I got to the Chief Exec of the hospital
as well as through the complaints procedure, the local mental health
charity (which did fuck all) and my MP.

It's amazing what people do in anger. But I'm not a /professional /nurse.

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We It comes in part from an appreciation that no one can truly sign their own work. Everything is many influences coming together to the one moment where a work exists. The other is a begrudging acceptance that my work was never my own. There is another consciousness or non-corporeal entity that helps and harms me in everything I do. I am not I because of this force or entity. I am "we"