helped me get some amazing skunk.
One day my friend asked me to pop over and see Millie. He hadn't been
very well. I went over hoping to pickup a bit of herb. When I saw him he
was pale. He could barely walk down the stairs.
He'd been to see the GP with a pain in his leg. The GP hadn't checked it
out and left him to go home. This was a few days ago. He was in serious
pain. The doctor hadn't checked him out properly. I could see he needed
to go to hospital though. It was affecting his breathing as well as his
causing pain in his leg. I didn't understand this bit but something was
wrong. His attributional behaviour meant that he coud have been in
serious pain but have said it wasn't that bad.
His sister had tried to get him to go to the hospital but he was a
proper trooper. He thought the pain would subside eventually. I made an
important point to him. He was so ill that he wasn't puffing. It was
about reading those personal signs. The doctors didn't know him but I
knew him as I knew myself. After that he told me he'd see the GP the
next day.
That night he died. It was an bleed in his leg and it got worse and it
clotted or something so he died. I should have got him to the hospital.
He went to bed and never woke up again.
He may have had a diagnosis of schizophrenia. My mate told me Millie
heard a voice in his head. I told my friend not to worry and that I did to.
At the moment I'm not puffing either. I'm barely eating. I'm not
showering. All I do is sit at home in my room on this computer and blog
or Facebook. If I didn't drink of smoke I wouldn't leave the house. It's
lucky I do and I like to walk when I drink.
I know what depression is for me. The suicidality is irrelevant because
it's a constant. So is smoking herb. I haven't bothered to get any more
but I really need some. Drinking myself hungry is very expensive and not
as effective as smoking skunk. Sadly it's been a long while since I've
had any. I've been battling to eat all year. It's been almost a year now
I went to the doctor and tried to get help for depression because I knew
I was unwell back then based on my knowledge of myself. I'm much, much
worse now.
Don't worry. I took a St John's Wort pill about an hour ago. I'm going
to go walking and drinking again. Got to eat because I'm concerned it
will end up with me in hospital. I'm not experiencing what I consider
low mood however what I consider low mood would kill most people.
Millie mate. I miss you. I hope you're in a better place. Wish I was
there with you.
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