Weddings, mental health stigma, isolation and choice

I don't get invited to a lot of weddings. I'm not surprised. There's a
lot of alcohol at weddings. I'm crazy when I'm sober and I'm crazy when
I'm drunk. I'm crazy when they see me on any day and I'll be crazy on
their important day.

Most of the weddings I've been invited to I couldn't go because another
effect of mental illness: reduced income and poverty. Psychosis and
paranoia can also be a problem such that I couldn't make it to a wedding
outside London because I was afraid of being stranded. Social anxiety is
not something I have a problem with as long as I'm drunk.

Switching to a long zoom lens on this aspect of life elucidates just how
much stigma there is and how much isolation as a direct and indirect
result of mental ill health.

The visualising the amount of antistigma campaigning required to change
the stigma of mental illness across all areas of life is the tip of the
iceberg. There's a another blog post about relationships and madness.
It's the same with funerals. At parties people always like a bit of
entertainment so I still get invited to a few of those.

It's without a tear in my eye that I contemplate just what a freak I am.
I'm used to it. I have to accept myself.

Shakespeare says it best I feel. "to be or not to be." Or to paraphrase.
"to be mad and me or to be changed into that which other people want me
to be."

I can accept myself as I am but suffer the well evidenced impacts of
stigma. Or I can hide, mask and be medicated Either way is difficult.

It's a good thing I'm not black or a woman. There are some positives.