Sunday, 17 October 2010

Just sending off another attempt at a job application and that fucking voice in my head

I really don't think it's worth me bothering but I need to get back to
work. As I'm just about to sign off the email the voice in my
head/thoughts said "liar liar." I that what the person will think of me
and my job history?

I have a paranoia that people don't believe my life history.

Not many people were getting jobs as programmers for a European Space
Agency project when they were 18. Certainly not people who got a 3rd in
their degree. I don't think anyone apart from me would have blagged that
job at Capital One with a third. They only recruited from the top
universities and people with a 2:1 or above. They used testing for their
interviews and I scored well on whatever they perceived was value and I
signed the contract before I got my exams results. I remember many
friends telling me I was a jammy bastard.

Not many people go from working there to working in a council to working
on a magazine to volunteering at a mental health charity to working at a
national mental health charity to working for an augmented reality
startup in China. There are probably fewer who've been in psychiatric wards.

Since starting writing this blog post I've re-edited the email. Now the
voice is saying I'm perfect for the role because of my mix of unusual
professional experience and my interest in the subject.

Fingers crossed. I still don't trust it though. The voice I mean.

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About Me

We It comes in part from an appreciation that no one can truly sign their own work. Everything is many influences coming together to the one moment where a work exists. The other is a begrudging acceptance that my work was never my own. There is another consciousness or non-corporeal entity that helps and harms me in everything I do. I am not I because of this force or entity. I am "we"