he'd wanted to die for a long time and death was something he looked
forward to. I got the impression that he'd reached a certain age and had
had enough of life. The rest of it seemed pointless. He died of natural
causes but I guess had he wanted to live longer he could have.
I totally know how that old man felt. I don't have his years or feel the
physical tiredness he may feel. I feel the emptiness though. The
tiredness feels at a deeper level. If I had a pistol and ball I'd put it
to my temples right now. It's that sort of tiredness.
How do people 'treat' tiredness of life? I've tried a variety of drugs
including the strongest legal antidepressant. I found the most effective
drug for me was the right type of skunk but getting that reliably wasn't
possible, and tainted skunk caused a lot of damage to my life. The
hashish I'm smoking at the moment has a very potent antipsychotic
effect, i.e. it's good a calming me without making me sleep. I still
makes me feel tired though the tiredness isn't the same as the constant
psychache tiredness.
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