Monday, 2 August 2010

Lived experience of life

From

It's one of the comments at the bottom. I know it's just one person's experience but...well...in my opinion that counts for a lot.

This is not to be taken as something that means you shouldn't feel like you don't suffer. The complexity of pain and it's externalisation is something I've got a fair amount of experience with, enough to tell you never weigh up is my pain lesser or greater than the next man or woman.

(Sadly if you ever meet me and I'm campaigning for something I will totally sell out on that when there's a point to be made.).

"
Better off talking to dead grandmother

From: Mark Suckling, unemployed, England, UK
Date: May 8, 2009

I have just started cognitive therapy. And if I had to be honest it has made me more depressed. Being unemployed you begin to concentrate on the minutest detail of everything. For instance an item of food has gone up 30p. This has a knock-on effect all the way down the line as you are fixed to an income.

My therapist had no idea how much unemployment benefit was. She thought my wife and I were both receivng £94 a week. Instead of just £94 for both. I told her that I was concerned that I wasn't getting enough nourishment as I only could afford £20 a week for food. She then told me she spends £120 a week on her shopping. I have to walk everywhere because I can't afford bus fare. I have had problems with my knees for years. And after walking three miles to the session and three miles back. They hurt. And without missing a beat she suggested maybe jogging would help my depression.

Try as you may, empathy is no substitute for walking in another person's shoes. Only then can you truly understand depression.

I dread going back to these sessions. Basically the ethos is a buck-up and pull yourself together philosophy. I would have been better off talking to my dead grandmother. At least I respected her.
"

The difference between Employment Support Allowance (formerly Incapcity Benefit) and Job Seeker's Allowance is the difference between the poverty line and extreme poverty.

When I was on IB there would be some weeks when all I would spend on food was £10 a week. I spent the rest of my money on alcohol and cannabis (yeah, I'm a cunt. Get over it). I used to explain my shopping habits as "yellow sticker shopping". I never bought anything I wanted. I just got what was on offer. I still do but I go for nicer things. In those days the nice things would be the items of food that were so off that they'd be re-reduced in price. I calorie counted to make sure I got enough to eat and made a 1,000-1,500 calorie meal that was £1 or £2 (a 3-pack of value mince pies covered in value meatballs).

I survived on what are know as "inferior goods." I learned the term from a friend of mine who worked at Goldman Sachs. It's sadly the range of food that far too many people are forced to buy. My friend explained them to me as things you would only buy if you had no choice. They're the no frills, value or whatever - the cheapest products. They're the most mass produced and worst made.

They're the products that some people might feel embarassed bringing to the counter because they carry the stigmata of poverty and cheapness. They're also the products that have the highest number of chemicals, are the least healthy and the most likely to contribute to illness.

It's the lot of the poor: eat shit and die younger. There's huge reports that make that point more lucidly and with references to other big reports. Think of that the next time you see someone reaching for those products, especially if you're a shareholder in one of the supermarket oligopoly.

Or just find your own happiness in realising just how good non-inferior goods are.

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We It comes in part from an appreciation that no one can truly sign their own work. Everything is many influences coming together to the one moment where a work exists. The other is a begrudging acceptance that my work was never my own. There is another consciousness or non-corporeal entity that helps and harms me in everything I do. I am not I because of this force or entity. I am "we"