What is the right thing to say?

I am desperate to know the right to thing to say to these words.

"i wonder why no matter what i do, i don't get any better."

I ended up giving the individual a lengthy response that they'd probably already heard with little or no empathy. The lack of empathy is part of my state at the moment. I'm very sad inside. But even if my heart wasn't stone cold I still wouldn't know what to say.

This is a friend of mine and I'd like to have been able to apply Schneidman's techniques to apply what I knew of their life history to see where they were and what was up. They won't talk to me nor will they answer my questions.

I want to be able to give them five words that will salve their psychache. Instead they got one of my length essays that cover every possibility which I know was the last thing they wanted but I just didn't know what to do.

I explained a little about my life and how I went through hell and came back, but they know that I went through hell again and haven't returned yet.

I have fought and fought to keep my head above water and now I'm drowning. It is at this time that it is hardest to help another.

Do I say, "It gets better and worse" or "this is life little youngster." "You know not hell yet" is perhaps a closer truth but none are what a suffering person wants to hear.

My relationships in helping people depend on my honesty and I can't tell this person honestly that "It gets better so chill" but the bleakness of truth at the wrong time can break a person.

"seek wisdom from the veterans" is true, perhaps. "Listen to your loved one" is true, perhaps. Yet this individual is smart enough to know that. It's why I didn't say, "buck up and keep trying."

But I think that's all I have left for me. That's all I can say to myself I mean. I'd not say it to someone else when they needed help but I think that's come from my upbringing. It's how I treat myself. Like shit.